One of the scariest things I’ve ever done is jet off on a plane to the other side of the world on my own. But it was also the most empowering, liberating and utterly amazing experience of my life, bar none.
Here are 15 things I’ve learned from travelling solo.
1. Fear is normal.
As I walked through security at Glasgow airport, ready to board my first flight, there were tears. I couldn’t help it. I was scared. Right there and then I had a choice to make. I could give in to my fear and give up on this dream that I’d had for years, that I’d saved for for ages and that I’d looked forward to since forever. Or I could embrace my fear and go for it anyway.
Physiologically fear is an instinct that exists to keep us safe. Fear is good, as long as you don’t let it paralyze you.
From the minute I boarded my first flight, travelling solo helped me learn to differentiate between fear derived from danger and fear derived from stepping out of my comfort zone.
So it’s OK to be scared. In fact it’s perfectly normal.
2. It makes you face your fears.
Never in a million years did I think I’d ever go skydiving (well nearly – if only those pesky clouds hadn’t gotten in the way), or camp with no tent in the middle of the Australian outback with people I’d only met a few hours earlier. But I did.
When travelling alone, fear is a recurring theme. Not necessarily the heart-stopping, terrifying fear (of danger) that comes with a decision to jump out of a plane. But nervousness and anxiety creep in almost every time you find yourself in a new or unfamiliar situation. But fear and courage go hand in hand. If you don’t feel fear, you can’t be courageous, right?
Solo travel makes you step outside your comfort zone, challenge what you thought were your limits and face your fears head on.
3. The world isn’t as scary as you think.
Despite what you see in the media, or what people tell you, most people don’t want to rob you or kill you. Most people are nice, good, honest people.
4. You learn to rely on yourself.
You’ve just arrived in a new country all by yourself and you can’t speak the language. You don’t really know where you are and in some cases, you don’t know where you’re going. There’s no one with you to share the decision making, help navigate a subway system or tell you what to do next. You have no choice, you do what needs to be done. And once you’ve done it once, you realise it’s easy. And it feels great.
5. You learn to trust your instincts.
There will be a few times in your life when all your instincts will tell you to do something, something that defies logic, upsets your plans, and may seem crazy to others. When that happens, you do it. Listen to your instincts and ignore everything else. Ignore logic, ignore the odds, ignore the complications, and just go for it. – Judith McNaught
Relying on yourself means listening to your gut. Solo travel has helped me learn to recognise and trust my instincts. If every inch of your being is telling you to do something, or not to do something, you should listen to it. It’s usually right.
When travelling alone, instinct and intuition is your best friend.
6. You learn to go with the flow.
Things don’t always go according to plan. That’s a reality of travel. Buses are late, flights get cancelled, luggage gets lost.
I was at Sydney airport, standing in line to drop my bag for a flight to New Zealand to spend Christmas with a friend. The flight got cancelled. I got stressed. Then I realised that stressing about it wouldn’t change a damn thing. So I stopped stressing and started figuring out if/how I could get to New Zealand in time for Christmas. It wasn’t so hard. I re-booked a flight for the next day. Yes, it was a bit annoying but it wasn’t the end of the world.
Learning to be flexible and go with the flow is part of the adventure of solo travel (or any travel). Stressing out doesn’t work. There will always be a plan B.
7. You don’t need things.
I took way too many things. My backpack weighed almost as much as me at the beginning. Needless to say as the weeks ran into months, I discarded most of my clothes, nearly all of my shoes and various other paraphernalia that I really didn’t need.
But it’s not just about packing light. It’s about not needing things. Some of the happiest, kindest, most generous people I’ve ever met were the Fijian families who allowed me to live with them in their community. They had very little by the way of things, yet they were willing to share everything they had – their food, their homes, their belief’s, their celebrations, their lives.
Travelling solo taught me that things are irrelevant. It’s people, kindness, laughter and love that matter.
8. You learn to prioritise.
Unless you have an infinite amount of time and money, you can’t go everywhere and you can’t do everything. Travelling alone helps you prioritise what, where, and sometimes who, matters most to you. If it doesn’t matter, why bother about it?
9. You can be totally selfish (and that’s ok).
When travelling alone, you don’t need to compromise. All you really need to think about is you.
If you want to learn to surf. Go right ahead. If you’d rather have a lazy day at the beach. Grab yourself a sun lounger and lie down. Do you want to climb a mountain? Why the hell not? If you prefer to get lost wandering the streets of a new city. Leave the map at home and go for it.
It’s totally up to you what you do, so be selfish, don’t compromise and look for opportunities to experience what you want to experience. There’s nothing wrong with being selfish in this context, as long as you respect others’ right to be selfish too.
10. Strangers really are just friends you haven’t met yet.
You’ll make loads more friends travelling alone than you will if you travel with friends or family.
When you travel with others you tend to focus on your own group. You probably won’t be inclined to build friendships with strangers and it’s likely that potential new friends won’t feel comfortable approaching you. Solo travel makes us much more receptive to meeting new people. People from different backgrounds and cultures, people that you probably wouldn’t encounter in your normal day to day life. Some of the friends I’ve met whilst travelling will be friends for life. Others were friends for a few days, a week, or a month.
The best thing about solo travel isn’t how many countries you visit, it’s the people you meet along the way.
11. There is no judgement.
When you travel solo, you can be whoever you want to be. You are what and who you are right there and then. You don’t need to tell anyone your back-story and people won’t judge you on your past.
12. Where ever you are, you are there.
Travelling solo won’t solve your problems. Your problems will be there until you deal with them. But it does help you gain perspective. It shows you how small you are in an enormous, wonderful world. It helps you realise what’s important and what’s not and it helps you see yourself, and others, in a different light.
Don’t go travelling alone in order to run away from something, or someone. It won’t work. It or they will be there when you get back.
13. Being sick on your own in a foreign country sucks.
I was sick for 3 days in Fiji. And it really really sucked. Although I had people around me – fellow volunteers, my new extended Fijian family, all I really wanted was my own bed.
14. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
When you get sick or other shit happens, you learn to deal with it and move on, stronger, more capable and more confident for the experience.
15. Where there’s a will there’s a way
You can do what you want to do, when you want to do it. The only thing that stops you from living your dreams is you.
In my opinion “Travel as much as you can ” you will not only experience new things to learn but you will realize how small our thinkings are , It does not matter solo or with other travellers ,Travel as much as you can .
Hi there, thanks for stopping by. I couldn’t agree with you more.